Red flag raised
I pace.
It's not that hard,
I tell myself
it's not that complicated.
Look at her,
this beautiful one-year-old
she is an amethyst, her soul
may be just mineral,
but the shortness
of the life we lead
and the beauty
of things we don't need
is what makes matter
matter.
~ her breath was my answer
Good one Utsa!
ReplyDeleteYour poem is a beautiful comment on the spiritual anguish and dilemma we all go through in life. Life draws us in through our senses into its cycle. One is reminded of Coventry Patmore's poem The Toys. This fascination for the attractive toys of the world stays with us all through life.
ReplyDeleteThe last lines, the shortness of the life we lead and the beauty of the things is what makes matter matter, make the crux of the poem. But you add a twist to it by adding the beauty of the things we don't need which gives the poem a unique beauty and depth.
Congrats Utsa. Do keep writing. You are a promising poet. One is captivated to taste more real poetry from you.
The pleasant rhyming effects lead- need are perhaps unintentional, but they are pleasant and beautiful nevertheless. Poetic effects such as rhyme alliteration, consonance and asonance may sound like things of the past, but they make poetry refined and beautiful. A great thought clothed in a beautiful attire will always be cherished. The soul of a great poem would always prefer to dwell in a beautiful majestic form.
The above long comment is by Joyson C. J, Joseph Antony's friend
ReplyDeleteThis poem really touches on the delicate balance between life's fleeting moments and how much meaning we can find in the simple things. The image of the one-year-old as an "amethyst" gives such a sense of innocence and timeless beauty. What stood out to me most was the way it reminds us that the true value in life isn't in what we collect or hold onto, but in the little things we often take for granted. It's thoughtful and heartfelt, making you pause and reflect. I love it 🤌
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